Support4Change Blog

December 10, 2006

Category: Strengthening Friendship and Relationships

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT
 

This is written to be posted Dec. 10, although when that is done I will have begun three days in Adelaide of what I am sure will be a great vacation in a place I’ve long wanted to visit. Imagine I’ll be a bit tired from the fifteen-hour plane ride, but it will be worth it. (See previous entry for a bit of background.)

For those of you who dread an upcoming family gathering near to home or around the globe, I recommend you read an article I wrote several years ago called Gathering the Family for Love and Healing. 

Here are subheadings for the body of the article. While you can get additional information from the article itself, just reading this list may encourage you to relax and slow down a bit. (The next entry on Dec. 13 will address the issue of guilt.)

When Your Family Isn’t Perfect

At Least Be Glad Your Family Isn’t Boring

A Time to Heal Old Wounds

Use the KISS method

Take mini-vacations before, during, and after the family gathering

Be flexible

Write “DON’T PANIC” on the top of your to-do list

Spend a quiet day or evening all by yourself

Ask for help when you need it !!!

Relax

Treat your family like you treat your friends

Invite friends

Compliment your family

See others as they are today

Let bygones be bygones

Relax

Give people space to be themselves

Make exceptions to accommodate special needs

Take advantage of the occasion to create an oral history event

Remember what’s really important

Relax

Enjoy the fruits of your labor