Support4Change Blog

March 23, 2007 

Categories: Q-and-A Club, Strengthening Friendships and Relationships

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT
 

I notice from the statistics that this blog service provides that I haven’t gained a lot of new viewers in my absense of two weeks, but I haven’t lost many either. So I guess being away hasn’t been as traumatic for readers as my perfectionist side was afraid it might be.

The break gave me an opportunity to explore my plans in a new light. Every night I would awake for an hour or so in the middle of the night, a time when I often get lots of new ideas (not all of which survive the harsh light of day). My brain was trying to come up with a metaphor for the workbook that I’m writing to go with the book I’m writing. It took just one night back home for me to figure it out. Now I’m excited to refine the metaphor and put it to work in explaining some concepts I want to get across.

But first I had to take a little time to design the Q-and-A Club question for the week of March 25 to March 31. The introduction to the question uses the idea of an “Island of Conclusion” to which we jump in our tendency to make assumptions about people we don’t know.

ASSUMPTIONS ARE THE TERMITES OF PEACE

When you remember the times you’ve misjudged a person, what is the characteristic (or characteristics) that most often causes you to make an assumption that turns out to be wrong? As you look at the pictures on this page, what would your reaction be if the couple on the left were black and the ones on the right were white, or if they were mixed race couples?

Action Question: This week, when you go out in public, are you willing to notice the judgments you make about others? If no, why? If yes, how can you create the possibility that you can accept people just as they are?

Since these questions deal somewhat with race, I recommend a wonderful site called Understanding Race. Created by the American Anthropological Association, with funding from the Ford Foundation and the National Science Foundation, it is a well-designed site for the Race Project that explores “differences among people and reveals the reality——and unreality——of race.” One feature that was particularly well done was the illustration of how difficult it is to put people into boxes of one race or another.  In addition to a race blog on “Who is White?,” there is a blog where visitors can talk about their own experiences with race.I heartedly recommend you visit the site.

REMEMBER: These weekly questions are available to anyone who wants to use them for their blog, newsletter, website, or discussion group. There is no charge, but you MUST include both the introduction and all the questions, attribute the questions to the Q-and-A Club and to me, Arlene Harder, and include a link to Support4Change.