Support4Change Blog

January 12, 2008

Category: Miscellaneous

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

Yesterday I learned two things when I went to the Board of Equalization for my sellers permit. The first thing I learned is that if you give your name to the receptionist and then ask for a key for the restroom, when you return and hand her back the key, you should inquire whether your name has been called. Since there were at least half a dozen people in the waiting area, I assumed the others needed to be called before me. Wrong. Since my case wasn’t as complex as theirs were, all I needed was to get the form approved quickly. Let this be a lesson to you. Always check to see if you missed hearing your name when you walk away from the reception area.

The second thing I learned, and the focus of this blog, came from an article in Psychotherapy Networker, a magazine for therapists I read while I was waiting, unnecessarily as it turned out. The issue’s theme was “Super Shrinks” These are therapists whose clients were “less likely to detriorate, more likey to stay longer, and twice as likely to achieve a clinically significant change.” According to a thorough study, this is true regardless of the technique they use, a fact I found most interesting because so many schools of psychology claim their methods are the best thing that’s happened to the world of therapy since sliced bread.

In examining why these Super Shrinks seem to do so much better than the average therapist (who may be “proficient” but not particularly outstanding) seems to hinge in large part on the fact that experts—in all fields—focus on how they can improve. On the other hand, the article notes that, “In our work with psychotherapists, we’ve found that average practitioners are far likelier to spend time hypothesizing about failed strategies—believing perhaps that understanding the reasons why an approach didn’t work will lead to better outcomes.” Unfortunately, these non-experts spend less time thinking about strategies that might be more effective.

In other words, for too many therapists (or members of any profession from basketball players to teachers) it is easy to blame the lack of progress on the problem the client has (or in the case of basketball one might blame his teammates and the teacher blame the parents). That’s why you’ll often hear therapists say that a client didn’t stay in therapy long enough for it to work (“it” being the technique). Lack of progress is blamed on the fact that she’s a borderline, he’s a narcissist, and their marriage had conflicts from the beginning.

On the other hand, going outside the field of therapy, consider what happened when doctors evaluted cystic fibrosis treatment. At one time the life expectancy of a child born with this debilitating disease was two years. Had doctors continued to provide the same treatment on the theory that it was the “illness” that cut lives short, and not their discovery of a better method to treat the illness, they would not have raised the survival rate today to thirty years or more.

As a side note, when I think Kenya these days, I imagine many people are thinking, “well, what can you expect. Those people haven’t been successful in bridging tribal differences before. That’s just who they are. Nothing can be done.” I believe something can be done and in another blog I’ll explain why. [In the meantime, you might want to read Helping Women and Children Change the World].

Anway, what I want to say here is that one of the most interesting things about the article was the fact that experts and superstars in any field have the same commitment to improvement. They don’t look at all the reasons that contribute to why they failed as much as exploring how they can improve. Then they practice, practice, practice.

This observation has inspired me to write this blog today because my goal in writing and creating websites is to do the absolutely best I can to make the world a better place (without getting caught in the trap of trying to be perfect—see Lessons of a Recovering Perfectionist). So I’ve decided to check with you, my “clients,” so to speak, and find out how well I meet your needs. Most of you won’t write anything and I will assume that as long as people keep coming to the blog that they’re getting something out of what I write. I myself seldom answer questionairres about how well a business is doing, despite their statement that my comments are important to them. Nevertheless, I would greatly appreciate it if at least some of you would:

Take a few minutes to give me feedback on what you would like me to do differently on the blog and on my websites of ChildhoodAffirmations.com and Support4Change.com.

How do you like the way this blog or the Site Maps of those websites are presented? If you subscribe to the newsletter, what would you like me to do differently? How about individual articles you wish were presented in another way? And then there’s my new feature, the Store, where you can learn how to buy not only Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life but my new CD as well. It’s titled Words of Encouragement Everyone Needs and is designed for those who were not given affirmations all children need in childhood, or who are parents wanting to know how to nurture and guide their children through stages of childhood.

To give me feedback, please use the Contact Us form on Support4Change and in the subject line write “My Feedback.” Oh, one more thing, I would greatly appreciate it if you would please double check your email address. Sometimes I get a notice that an email is undeliverale but can’t respond because there is a mistake in the address and I’m not good in guessing where the mistake might have been made.

You can read the first chapter [PDF format] of Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life and let me know what you think. And after January 15, you can send your own reviews to added to the testimonials page.