Support4Change Blog

January 17, 2007

Category: Perfectionism

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Gavin, guardian of the gate to change. I’ll tell you more about him later, but first I want you to know why I haven’t introduced him earlier. You see, as you know if you’ve read any of my articles on perfectionism, I often struggle in my recovery from this disorder. That is why I had been holding back on telling you about three projects until they were completely finished and bug-proofed, including the one in which Gavin is featured.

I equate this situation with building a new house and being afraid to let the first visitors come in until every baseboard is painted and every window shade installed. But if I’m to take my role of recovering perfectionist seriously, I need to remind myself that people don’t always have to have the last nail pounded before they can enjoy what is already done.

So while these features may have one or two glitches, which I hope you will tell me about, I can’t resist any longer in presenting them to you. I am sure you will like them just as they are without the final coat of paint, so to speak.

First, I would like you to know about WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT EVERYONE NEEDS. This is a CD that uses guided imagery to help listeners experience affirmations for each stage of growth that they may have missed hearing when children. Imagery is a powerful technique that helps you discover your own strength, wisdom and courage. Increasingly research demonstrates the effectiveness of imagery exercises in opening our hearts and minds to new ideas and expanded consciousness. I especially like the way an excerpt of the CD has turned out. This lets you know what it is like for a child in the first stage of growth, birth to approximately six months, to receive love and support. After you hear this, perhaps you will want to buy the CD, which is arriving today from DiscMakers.

Second, I have finally finished ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE: Stop wishing you life were different and make it happen. It’s taken me more than a year to complete this book about the journey of change, but I am quite proud of how it has turned out, especially when I get reviews like this:

“A thoughtful, complex, layered look at how we change and what we need to do to create change in our lives. Arlene Harder gently, wisely and sensitively takes the reader along every step of the way, providing just the right questions, tools and approaches to make the journey fulfilling and satisfying.”

—Belleruth Naparstek, MA, MFT, author of Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal and creator of the Health Journeys audio series

After you read other reviews, the preface, and the first chapter, I hope you will want to buy the e-book version of Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life. In February I will record an audio version and in March you can buy a paperback version from Personhood Press, the publisher.

The final project I want you to know about is a new animation called Getting Through the Gate to Change. This link will take you to the “male” version that is 90% ready and is supposed to be 100% finished by tonight. Even so, it is good enough that you will, hopefully, want to tell your friends about it. In a week you will be able to choose either the male or female versions. I’m very proud of this new feature on Support4Change and feel that Cybergraphix Animation has done a wonderful job of turning my initial idea, for explaining how people reach their goals, into a feature that both entertains and teaches an important lesson about reaching goals.

Hope you enjoy these additions to Support4Change. And as I said at the beginning of this blog, if you find any errors in using these links, please let me know. Just use the Contact Us form on Support4Change.