Until Now

Monday, December 22, 2008

By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

This entry is for those who have indicated an interest in Better Tomorrows, a program of healing strained and broken family relationships - and for anyone else who wants to improve their relationships.

Every other Monday since October 27 I have given you an exercise similar to those that will be part of the program. This is the last of those preview exercises designed to give you a chance to see whether you might be interested in joining the program when it is launched on February 1, 2009. On the other Mondays, I have given you a special article that can make your holiday season more enjoyable.

BETTER TOMORROWS PROGRAM PREVIEW EXERCISE 5:

This last of the Better Tomorrows preview exercises is one of the most powerful — and simplest — that I’ve used in working with clients who have issues on which they’ve been stuck in the following ways:

1. They keep responding to another person with old behaviors that only make the problem worse, or, at best, don’t improve it

2. They give themselves a hard time because they think they “should have” known how to do whatever it is they want to do, but are just now learning how to do.

If this is your problem, I suggest you say this statement to yourself several times a day:

Until now I haven’t known how to … [whatever it is that you don’t know how to do],” but now I am learning how to … [whatever it is you haven’t known how to do and are willing to learn].

This is a true statement and one that includes the hopeful message that it is never too late to learn lessons in life.

If you have any questions about this exercise or the Better Tomorrows program, you can reach me through the Contact Us form on Support4Change.

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