Support4Change Blog

December 18, 2008
By Arlene Harder, MA, MFT

Another Lesson of a Recovering Perfectionist

If you are able to stop yourself from taking on more projects than you can handle, don’t bother reading any further. You won’t understand why I need to make this resolution for not only January 1st, but today, Dec. 18.

On the other hand, if you tend to put more on your plate than you can chew, and I know many of you do, you may be interested in how I’m rearranging my priorities these days.

Let me explain.

Before I had my back operation, I bought a dozen books and DVDs under the illusion that I would have lots of time to read and relax while recovering slowly. Well, while I did a little bit of that, after two weeks I was checking my email and discovered a request for submissions to the second volume of The Law of Attraction in Action. This E-book is published by Wonderful Web Women, an online community of entrepreneurs, and would give me a chance to reach a wider audience. Unfortunately, they needed the piece in less than two weeks. So I pulled myself (and my material) together and sent off the article last week. (You’ll have a chance to receive it as a bonus to my readers the end on January).

In any case, I am now tackling my next big project, which is Better Tomorrows, a program of healing strained and broken family relationships, which will launch Feb. 1. This is the biggest project I’ve done since writing Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life. In addition to writing material for the self-paced modules, I will record imagery exercises, create a video to have on YouTube, record some of the program content, and print material to send to participants.

What does this have to do with my New Years Resolution?

My problem is that I have also committed myself (more or less) to some other projects: reviewing new books, interviewing authors and coaches for Ten Questions Worth Considering, developing affiliations, writing the blog, finishing three books that are in the pipeline, scheduling interviews to promote Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life, writing the newsletter, and some others I can’t think of at the moment.

You get the picture. For years I’ve allowed myself to be pulled off course doing lots of interesting projects. They are all fun and many have potential for profit in the future. But they distract me from doing what can most directly make my business successful. However, in these economic times that needs to be my focus.

That is why I’ve made my first New Year’s Resolution for years! Ordinarily I don’t bother, since most resolutions are broken within the week. But this time I am starting early and have committed myself to only work on Better Tomorrows until it is finished.

Therefore, after next Monday’s post (with the fifth preview exercise of Better Tomorrows), the blog will be taken over temporarily by my part-time assistant, Renee Payan Wong. She will be giving you some of our popular articles from Support4Change and Childhood Affirmations and will periodically add new articles from guest authors.

By the way, what do you think is the topic of the chapter I wrote for The Law of Attraction in Action, Volume Two? It is called “Living With a Perfectionist: Advice for Family Members by a Therapist Who is a Recovering Perfectionist.” You can tell from my New Year’s Resolution that I am not a “recovered” perfectionist.

Life continues to prod me to let go and learn when doing enough is enough. I hope my story helps you postpone some of the activities that prevent you from staying on target. On the other hand, I hope you will not be so focused that you don’t take time to play, which I plan to do this holiday.

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